Two noons after an earthquake shook
her cats and the neurotic man with whom
she slept, she questioned: "We have been
offered ev'ry reason to believe
that we are completely fucked, yes?"
With mouth filled with mint chocolate
chip ice cream, he answered: " 'Fucked'
implies consent, and I, for one,
have no recollection offering
Life my permission to penetrate
my unsuspecting cavities with its un-
sympathetic sexual appendages,
however," pausing to swallow what was
in his mouth, "When sodomized by
Life, hire a lawyer and take its ass
to court and make money! At least
that is what I have read about those
who can not proficiently coffee
cups."
Meanwhile, ants had reached the summit
of Mount Cold Stone and had begun to set
up camp, feasting on the remnants of our
dairy desserts. This sight led them
to the conclusion that ants, like themselves
have the most grand of tastes in ice cream.
--by Amanda Hammer and Zach Chillman
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