Leaves of Ass (A Delightfully Perfumed and Ordained Ass)

Baking soda is among one of the many things that makes me beautiful,
....I sprinkle it underneath my arms because it is stuck to a stick…

I am stuck to a stick because I myself am a stick, and invariably so I just so happen to be stuck to myself.
I am a giraffe, and as a giraffe only two things concern me… lions and necking.

Leopard spots keep my flanks warm,
Like the leopard print bed sheets that keep my dreams warm,

And in the morning would…
I pretend to have back pain or pitch the tents of many camping trips.

I am not what I eat because I am not fireflies and I am not sunshine but I am chicken…
....Because I eat too much chicken not to be chicken,
....For I have always been chicken,
....In kissing and playing and laughing I am slightly marinated in fear.

I am pork chop, and as pork chop only two things concern me… barbecue sauce.

If you dip my flanks in the right sauces I will be delicious,
Otherwise I can be a little tough and not quite tender.

I walked through a meadow of flowers that I remained flowered and they remained flowered and I peeled petals from none of them.

But they caressed my shins and they brushed at the backs of my knees,
They reached for my face but could not reach because I am a giraffe,
And my knees are their clouds and I will never precipitate on them.

I walked through a meadow and found a wood.
....I only entered because it was familiar, for I am a tree.

And as a tree I walked among trees who looked at me and understood what it was like to be like what I was.

I rooted into a clearing and pulled up my roots to get a better look,
....I found a Bigfoot, and a Bigfoot founded me.

My bark trembled… my leopard spots cooled… and my antiperspirant perspired.

When a Bigfoot told me that she was actually a woman I asked her if she had been the one leaving footprints at my feet all my life.

She told me that if I let her stamp on my heart she would stay there forever.
....A Bigfoot scared me but I let her stamp on my heart anyway.
I let a Bigfoot stamp on my heart because I have big feet… I know this because my nose tickles the sky,
....But they are not that big,
....I am a giraffe… and a great ant-eater once told me that somedays I might need help reaching the leaves in the tall trees, of which I am one.