Praise To What Gets Me By

I rejoice in people and possessions, because I am a perfectly normal being, and sometimes abnormal too.

These things, inanimate and otherwise, I offer you my praise.

Let my head rejoice with foam pillow, and bear the burden of putting heavy thoughts to rest.

For the sweetest indulgence lies in restful rejuvenation.

Let Chris rejoice with strength, that of his heart, body, and mind.

For even when looks fade with old age I will still have a strikingly brilliant companion.

Let Callie rejoice with heat register, and her feline instinct for safety and comfort.

For I too am most comforted by a warm climate and demeanor.

Let Brandon Boyd rejoice with lyrics, the surreal and sentimental vocals fill my soul.

For when I hear the honor of his words I transcend, if only for a moment, to a place lost of hate.

Let Fannie May rejoice with peppermint ice, and its measurably perfect balance of white chocolate and crushed peppermint.

For in those moments when a girl needs a touch of sweetness to escape the surrounding sour.

Let Adrienne rejoice with boxer, who is a blessed beast, wildly energetic and childlike.

For together they are like mother and daughter and with each other there is peace amongst chaos.

Let Dane Cook rejoice with humorous wit, and the spontaneity that never ceases to enliven monotony.

For as creative as I strive to be, the words don’t spill as easily from my mouth as they do from my pen.

Let Pedicurist rejoice with feet, the indulgence that renews my tired souls.

For the outlets to ease one’s weary are plentiful, leaving no excuse for lack of opportunity.

Let Joe Dirt rejoice with mullet, the wig that fused with his skull.

For he is a rocker through and through who didn’t have no in his heart encouraging to keep on keepin’ on.

Let Victoria rejoice with her secret, and the sexy stability she molds for all womankind.

For the curves that will ever be desirous are peaked to perfection in seamless design.

Accept my praise and devotion, I declare for all to hear.

Glorious objects of my affection, blessings to all my simple saviors.