An Inconvenient Truth for Dan Brown

This would be an alternate ending:

“Since I am the knower of all things God
And that Virgil was merely a buffoon
I shall be taking his place as your guide.”

“O wise Dan Brown who stand’th before me (1)
Please show me the end of this hell I see
And carry me out to the other side.”

And so the famed proset did’st lead me on (2)
Across the lake of ice and to Lucifer
We walked—him just two steps ahead of me.

As we reached the dark red angel who fell’d,
Down from the very sacred clouds of Heav’n.
Not for his pride or insubordination—

But for his consumption from Heaven’s garden
The hallowed jalapeño peppers of God—
Intended for His mouth and His alone.

And for eternity leaked from Satan’s rear,
A red-yellow stew that carved through his skin
And flesh until his colon hung open.

Beneath this cursed stream of bubbling grease
Lie Judas Iscariot and Al Gore,
With their mouths pried open by crawling spiders.

As Satan’s taint poured into their wide jaws,
They were forced to swallow or suffocate.
When the two forced the spoiled excrement down,

With it came the spiders scratching and biting
Their way through the throats of the greatest sinners.
“Oh guide please, I can take no more,” I spoke.

“Then let us leave,” he said confidently.
“There’s one more thing my brave leader,” I said.
“Speak underling,” he spoke with some disdain.

“You suck!” I shouted and pushed him forcefully.
Backwards he tumbled and tripped falling down—
Into the black fecal pool of Satan’s gut.

He screamed and writhed in that eternal cess.
I smiled and began to climb past Satan’s legs
And up through the earth into the stars above.

(1) - Dan Brown, one of the world's most renown authors and if he hasn't been already (which he probably has), he should be considered for sainthood.

(2) - proset = a poet of prose.

My question: How was Dante's Inferno (and I suppose his Divine Comedy as whole) received by a mass populace?
Answer: Very well in the centuries after it's publication, and then forgotten during the Enlightenment, and then afterwards fell into favor again. Thank you Wikipedia.