and of the Holy Ghost

This song is to be sung in the church of Brianology in the year 2176:

Protect us from Darkness
Protect us from Uncertainty
Protect us from the Elephant by using the power of the Ass

May Mufasa rejoice with all the clouds in the sky
As his life completed a full circle and he is now looking over us with his protection from Scar’s cunning at all times

May Hera bless and keep protected Lisa Gardner-Kinsella, teacher of youth and carer for dogs of Dixon, Illinois
For, through the graces of the gods alone, she bore two children: Brian, a son, and Kelsey a daughter

May Zeus bless and protect Charles Kinsella, a father to few yet friend to all
For he is the herald of technology to all the education inside Dixon. Without him the youth of Dixon would be stuck within the Stone Age

May Mabel, Pepper, and Vidalia be blessed with Kibbles and Bits as they guard the House of Kinsella from anything smaller than a loaf of bread with their courage that exceeds that of a king lion
For without their protection, Brian would have never woken up the whole house with their barking every time he entered the house of Kinsella after the middle of Darkness

If the dogs have their courage then they will protect us from all evils
The dogs have their courage therefore we shall be protected

May Kelsey, Daughter of Lisa and Charles and Sister of Brian, rejoice with Eve and be protected by the knowledge that she gained
For it is only through knowledge that we are protected and through knowledge that we are saved.

May John, house of McBride, Friend of Brian rejoice with a rooster
For it is by the cock crowing that protects us during early mornings when a late night has preceded

May Jeff, House of ThE everyman, be protected by the wind and air that fiLls the sky
For his children shall be more numerous than the seeds from a dandeLION that flow effortlessly in the wind.

May Tim be blessed with Tequilina, goddess of drunkards, only on the weekends
And may his roommates be blessed with MasterLockia during these times to protect themselves from sleep walkingaptia

May Brian, house of Kinsella originating in Rockford and residing in DixonNormal whilst practicing to educate and preparing for what life brings him, be protekted from Procrastiking, god of those who procrastinate
For it is through doing homework two to three hours before it is due that all fall apart

May Mike be blessed by his Ass in politicks
For through the Ass we shall all be saved

Bless Aaron and his house of Gearhearts and have Heffnerora protect him
For through another premature love story he will go insane

Bless the house of Kinde with Dianthus barbatus,
For through Sweet William we are protected

Bless the house of Kinder with Consolida regalis
For protection from the evil

Bless the house of Kinsella with a Rose ThorN
For through that prick, the purest blood flows

Bless the house of Blessman
For through their name they bless man

Bless the house of Hermes
For we shall not shoot the messenger

Bless Luke, House of Ranousqui, and send a protecting light down on him.
Bless the cocoon that houses a young and protects it until the coming-of-age
Bless the Venus Fly Trap, whose purpose is opposite than that of a cocoon in that it looks to digest its inhabitants for food for itself for through the death of some we are protected from flies
May smiles bless our lives since smiles are a kingly aspect
May the Elephas maximus protect us in terms of serenity
May the Sus scrofa protect us in terms of sloth
May the Axis axis protect us in terms of elegance
May the Canis familaris protect us in terms of friendliness
Bless mold for through mold we are protected
Bless Brian Adams, for through the Summer of 69 we all know our favorite time of year
Bless the Eschscholzia californica, for it is through these that Dorothy fell asleep and that we receive comfort

May our neighbors be protected from the prying eyes of family
May our dogs be protected from the promiscuousocity of the little dog next door
May or cats be protected from the tractor known as katkillr
May the cats also be protected from tulips, killer of kats
May we be protected from the falling skies
May we be protected from the end of daisies, where judgment thus ensue
May we be protected from door knockers who find themselves asking for us
May we be protected from the cock who crows too early in the morning
May our children be protected from us and all that we do in the name of the moment
May our parents be protected from all that we wish on them in times of immnse anger
May we be protected against those that wish to hurt us with misplaced baseballs, running blindly, or any other mishap that may or may not happen
May we be protected from drowning in hugs that are overzealous
May we be not protected from the hug zealot since hugs produce smiles and smiles are contagious.

Bless the opening flower that dawns a new day and the end of darkness, for though the bee stingeth upon our arm he also bears us sweet nectar from the flower to add to our cornbread which protects us from hunger and starvation as does a bowl of chili that goes with the cornbread; chili protects us from the cold as its warmth warms up our body soul and mind; protect us all in the town of BloomingNormal from the abysmal cold and snow and allow us warmth and heat that the daylight promises; Bless or blessed classes, from Spanish to Poetry and all in between for through these classes alone shall we grow to poets and Spaniards we are meant to be; Protect the coffee that we drink from haphazard of getting cold unless it is ice coffee then protect it from getting hot, for both are delicious in their own way and both offer benefits that can be seen if given the chance; Protect us from the inanity of history taking over a literature class; Protect us from overly hot rooms and blisterly cold apartments; Protect us from too much Chef-Boy-Rd for though it is delicious, pasta is so much better; Protect us from too much homework and also from the procrastination that adds to the homework; protect us from 200 pages of reading for oneclass; Protect us from the neighbor that calls the cop with a noise complaint, may her sleep be bothered the rest of the semester; Protect us in our hour of final sleep for the night, may we wake up as happy as we were when we blacked out.

Protect us from Darkness
Protect us from Uncertainty
Protect us from the Elephant by using the power of the Ass
Protect us from certain drunkenness and the morning it will produce at work